I am so blessed! March 18, 2008

I just have to say how blessed I am to have such a wonderful husband- I love him so much! He is such a servant to me and our daughter, he loves us so much. This morning he told me that he is so attracted to me, but not just my features but who I am- he is attracted to my body soul and spirit! It’s really amazing when you find that your identity isn’t in how you look- you hear it all the time but when someone says something like that to you it really re-aligns you. It really got me thinking about how Jesus, our husband loves us! Even in our brokenness He loves us- just like Ben said he loves me- with Jesus it would be like saying He doesn’t just love me for what I do- for my strivings- He loves who I am! That is such an amazing reality.

We are beyond blessed (and what a small word to use) when we think about Jesus and how He’s redeemed us. We were going to Hell! He died so that we could have eternal life… but not just that- He really wants to have a relationship with us because He LIKES us- what is that?

I am personally blessed to have such a revelation of not only the Bridegroom King Jesus in my wonderful husband but also the reality of God as Father in mothering Zuriah- it’s as if He created these contexts in order for us to better understand Him, we are created in His image in more than one way, He really modeled creation after Him. I am finding so much of God in creation (the invisible attributes!) He’s really created all of this so that we can see Him in it and glorify Him. Isn’t it amazing that He made the universe just for us to marvel at- I mean it’s infinite, as if we’ll even see it all! Not even a portion and yet He created it for us to live in. All of it just for humans- amazing. There are so many prophetic pictures of Jesus in creation- and it was really all made for us to find Him in it.

The Lord’s Daughter March 15, 2008

I’m sitting in the prayer room right now with Zuriah sleeping on me, I am overwhelmed with how much I love her! Since we had her I’ve grown in love more than I ever knew existed, it’s truly inexpressible. How amazing that God has entrusted her to us! I really think that moms have a special anointing simply because of how much they love. The Lord has really shown me unconditional love through her- sometimes when she is crying (even screaming) – don’t get me wrong she is a very good baby but every baby cries sometimes – I look at her and my heart is so overflowing with love- even in those moments! I love everything about her! Her little noises, the faces she makes, how she moves around, how she looks at us- she’s so amazing!

I never understood before why parents got so worried about their children- now I understand. I’m going to totally trust the Lord with her but I can’t even imagine being away from her. I want to protect her! This I think is part of the fasted lifestyle of mothers- it’s a constant giving of yourself, but at the same time when you want to be in control God says ‘no, trust me.’ That is so hard! But that is what I need a better revelation of- especially if I am going to be a mother in the end times. God prepare my heart for this!

We need to give our children to the Lord- if this is going to be a generation of prophets, evangelists, firey apostles… martyrs, we have to trust Him with our children! There will be a day when we won’t be able to do anything when someone comes and divides up our family- it’s so important to get a revelation of this now in order to prepare. We need intimacy with Jesus- how else can we trust Him?

I meant for this post to be more about Zuriah than raising her in the end times but it seems like it always goes there! Something I’ve been torn between lately is the world and God concerning her- I’ve been trying to document everything- first tooth, first time she crawled, first steps, what she’s doing, what she looks like- but then I think, when the antichrist is in power I’m not going to be bringing my scrapbook to the concentration camp! Where do I draw the line? A few months ago I was thinking the only thing I am attached to worldly is pictures- I’d be really upset if I lost my pictures- but the Lord revealed to me that He is so much better than Kodak! I feel better about that, I just need to keep living in an eternal perspective.

Zuriah woke up- Right now she is playing with her friends Malachi (3 yrs) and Payton (5 yrs)- they play so well together, Malachi calls her ‘Ziah’ and Payton calls her ‘Zachariah’! Pretty cute… maybe they will all be ‘contemporaries’ preaching the Gospel together This next generation is so exciting! The time is so exciting, but yet terrifying! God prepare us. Give us grace to walk through what Joel calls the ‘great and terrible day of the Lord.’ What does it look like God? Help us to prepare our children, to prepare our hearts. We need intimacy with you Jesus. You are coming soon, we love you Jesus!

Provoked March 4, 2008

My heart has been so stirred the last few days for more of God! Why are we so content with what we have when we can have SO much more? This is the reality that I’ve been looking at- I don’t just want to be a good moral Christian, I want to be on FIRE for God! It’s not okay that we as believers look so similar to the world- why is this? The other night in one of my groups a good friend of ours was telling everyone of intense encounters he’s had with God- I’m talking throne room experiences. He said one of his friends has had Ezekiel-like encounters where she’s out for 7 days (doesn’t eat, sleep or even move), and needs to be carried around for 7 days after that because she can’t even stand after that type of encounter. This provokes me! I want this!

I’m not just wanting to be taken up in the Spirit and walk in signs and wonders, I really want ALL of what the Lord has for me! I feel like we are unconsciously limiting God to have all of us- I’ve been starting to pray ‘Holy Spirit come AS YOU ARE and do WHAT YOU WANT.’ So often we pray for God to come as healer or provider (which is good and right), but what if we pray for God to come as God- to do whatever He wants even if it seems weird? Why not open up the box we have God in? I have to have more! We were created to look at God. We are vessels for His Spirit to live in us. He has so much more for us and He WANTS us to have it! But we have to ask. We do not have because we do not ask!

A Mom in the Last Generation March 1, 2008

Since being a mom I’ve been struck with the issue of raising my child in the last generation. Just a side note, I believe we ARE living in the last generation, the signs are evident even among unbelievers- Jesus is coming again very soon. So that being said and me being a new mom (and knowing the rapture is AFTER the great tribulation), what does it look like to raise a child in this generation? In her lifetime (possibly mine), the antichrist will be raised up and most of the world will take to false doctrines. MOST of the world will be killed in only a 3 1/2 year time span (at least half- at LEAST- see Rev 6:8 then 9:15), many (if not most) of the saints will be martyred (see Rev 17:6 and 20:4), and power and signs and wonders will be released… there is so much to this! It is sobering (to say the least) that Zuriah will live (or die) in this.

With all that- I’m not compromising in what she’s around. There is a WAR for her soul more than ever before. The enemy is raising up an end time army just as sure as God is raising up His. Already (she’s only 7 months) I’ve been convicted of letting her watch certain movies (I’m not talking ‘bad’ movies- these are popular children’s movies), I’m not doing Santa (this is a long one, I’ll probably discuss this at a later time), I’m careful with what she plays with (I don’t want her looking at a Barbie doll thinking she needs to look a certain way), but more than anything I’m praying over her that she will be rooted and grounded in the love of Christ, that she would not be swayed. I am trusting in the leadership of the Lord to guide me in how I raise her and in her being His daughter even more than mine! I am asking the Lord to guard my heart as well- that I’d be prepared to ‘let her go’ for Jesus. This is such a hard topic but I feel it’s so important especially for moms in this (last) hour.

It’s all becoming more of a reality with every day that passes, I can’t believe it’s already been 7 months since I had her- time goes so quickly! I’m trying to treasure every moment with her, this is such a precious time! Even though I’m probably more anxious than excited I know this time of the end will be so GLORIOUS! Jesus is coming to REIGN! WE get to invite Him back- SHE gets to be there when His end time strategy is being laid out for the world to see. We always say or think how awesome it would have been to be alive in the time of Christ, but how AWESOME it will be to be here when He returns standing strong for Him giving Him glory like NO OTHER GENERATION PAST! This is truly an amazing time and just typing all that gets me excited! He is really coming we need to get ready and get our children prepared.

Comments are welcome- especially from moms!!

He is coming to the earth to reign! Come Lord Jesus!