A New Thing July 20, 2008

E-12 was last night, need I say more? I will though. I was expecting an all out Heavenly encounter (why not, right?) but intercession broke out instead, probably one of the most significant nights we’ve had in a long time. For one, Ben travailed for the first time!! This is huge. Especially if you know my husband. Lets just say his personality isn’t screaming. I’ve rarely seen his hands raised in worship let alone him sprawled out on the floor groaning. Pretty sweet sight. I haven’t really gotten touched with travail yet… maybe a little, but nothing huge- yet. I’m a little hesitant, mostly because I don’t know if when it comes you can contain it. I’m picturing myself in a place where I can’t get away and I just start screaming (literally) in intercession. At the same time it’s pretty sweet to think about… how many times do we just go out to eat or watch a movie or go shopping and not think about God for maybe an hour, two hours at a time? I would think with this anointing that would be impossible. Not only that, but what an amazing thing- to have the Spirit groan through you for breakthrough in whatever arena. I’m excited. We’re going to Myrtle Beach on vacation with Ben’s family in a few weeks… we’ll see what happens.

So a really amazing word came forth for us last night while everyone was travailing. First of all here’s a little background. In June last year (while I was still pregnant with Zuriah), my parents bought Ben and me a house with the intention of me getting a job after baby was born and then getting a loan to pay them back. Well… after Zuriah my heart was unable to go into the marketplace and leave her. In fact, God confirmed I wasn’t to get a job in a pretty significant way. So here we are, over a year later and still haven’t gotten a loan to pay back mom and dad. You can imagine the tension this has caused. We know the Lord has promised us this house… now we have just been calling it in, despite the circumstances looking bleak. Also somehow we know it’s been tied with travail… interesting huh? So the word… The person said that because of the MANIFEST PRESENCE OF GOD in our house, that PEOPLE WOULD BE SAVED ON OUR DOORSTEP!! Another word… someone saw a door in the spirit and it opened a little wider and light poured in to our house, greater than before. So when the word was given both Ben and I thought of unsaved family members and felt the greatest intercession at that time. I’m excited to see how the Lord brings in this house- it will be such a miracle. We are contending.

I don’t think travail is too far off with me… I’m thinking only a matter of weeks. I’m excited just thinking of all the possibilities. And we sort of ‘deduced’ last night that travail brings HEAVEN TO EARTH. Pretty sweet…

Exciting Things to Come! July 18, 2008

So I just figured out how to put in pictures in my posts. No more boring posts without pictures. Maybe I’ll start blogging more for this simple fact… hmm… I like pictures. Anyone know how to do videos?

I’m Terrible at Blogging July 18, 2008

So blogging is totally not my favorite, and I never get time to do it… Ben’s been giving me a hard time because it’s been over a month- he’s threatened to take me off his links- so here I am blogging again.

So I’ve mentioned before that we have this crazy E-12 and honestly every time we meet is when I feel like actually blogging, because I have something to say! We met last week and God destroyed my box again, a good friend of ours has been going to heaven on a regular basis for about the last three weeks, or since he’s been ASKING.

For real… we need a greater reality of what’s available to us as SONS AND DAUGHTERS of the MOST HIGH GOD! Our friend talked for a good hour on what he’s seen, who he’s talked to, what he’s experienced (tasted, felt…) this is what every human is longing for and yet we have the ability to experience this in this life and only a few do it! Why? This is what we should be doing, or at least asking for! When I’m around people who have heavenly experiences on a regular basis I want to be around them ALL THE TIME. They are addicting! They’ve been around the glory of God! This is what I want- I want to go to heaven on a regular basis, see these things, and come back and tell people about them, to get them provoked to go as well! I think the time is coming when the body will do this in a corporate setting! Can you imagine? Being in the prayer room, or church, or wherever a group of people are seeking His face, and all of a sudden we are all up there together- we’re able to talk to each other… I want this!!

Another reality… although a mom now, I remember being a child and believing what was told to me- even things I’d watch on TV (whether cartoon or not) I believed them REAL. I remember staring out a window at my babysitter’s house when I was about 3 or 4 wanting Care Bears to come down and get me. I’m SO EXCITED for what my daughter will be able to experience. We were fed so many lies about the supernatural as kids that it’s turned MANY off. Do you remember REALLY believing there was a Santa’s Workshop? Children BELIEVE these things, how amazing that we are able to teach our kids REALITY now. “Yes, Zuriah you can go to heaven whenever you want! Let’s go together now! It is a REAL PLACE!!”

I’ve definitely felt like the Lord has increased my understanding of eternity and how I live in light of it. Now He’s done it again… Going to heaven is a pretty amazing thing… think about it. Someone who loves Jesus close to you dies- you’re able to go see them whenever you want, why not? THEN you get to spend eternity with them. It makes you look at life in a completely different context. Also… say we live 80 years here then have eternity. We could essentially “re-play” our life a billion times and still have eternity to go!!! This really makes you think about every second you spend here.

I’m excited for what the Lord will give us now that we are simply ASKING. We’ll see what happens…

The Supernatural is SWEET!! June 13, 2008

So Ben is out of town for three weeks (one week down, two to go), he left to Ft. Leonard Wood with the Army and me and Z are alone for awhile… It’s pretty interesting, I’ve found out how much I really depend on my husband for things- simple things- like housework, or just a free minute! I’m just so thankful to have him, him being away really makes me realize what a blessing he is! We’ve been talking every day, and most of the time our conversations consist of updates and what our days have looked like, but a few times we just get into these amazing conversations about Jesus, the age to come, and the great tribulation. I think one of the reasons we have been spending so much time talking about this is that we take for granted the time we spend together here (not all the time, but some of it), and don’t really spend as much quality time together as we should. I’m thinking of making this one of our nightly things… after Zuriah goes to bed to put away the computer, no sewing, no going to bed early, but to instead just talk to each other about JESUS! It’s been really great and I so enjoy it!

So what I’ve really been stirred about tonight is the realm of miracles, signs and wonders, GOD and how big He really is… the vastness to who He is, what He’s CAPABLE of. My prayer has been for God to destroy the box I have Him in every day, and it’s really been happening. Almost every day my spirit is awakened to new possibilities with the Lord. *Warning… content may be mind blowing* But seriously… we need this!! Traveling in the spirit- my friends told me of a missionary who went to the airport without a plane ticket. He was praying the Lord would provide his way. He went into the bathroom in one country and came out in another!!! What is that!? Ben and I were talking about the charibim in Ezekiel and the Lord’s chariot… if you read it closely the charabim are pulling the Lord’s chariot like horses. How sweet would that be to be transported in a heavenly chariot?! Seriously… I want that. I want to see Heaven opened before my eyes! The other night I was praying for God to open my eyes. I wanted to see His face! To see angels, heaven! Then all of a sudden lighting flashed flashed flashed flashed really quickly and it frightened me. It was as if God was saying ‘really? you really want that?’ I shuddered- YES!!! I still do!!! OH to see His glory!!! JESUS! I’m wondering what is possible, what we haven’t touched. The ‘Greater things’ that haven’t been seen yet. I want to experience this. I want Him to use me. I think it would be sweet to have an ‘invisible anointing’- although that’s been done before Still. I was ‘birthed’ into the supernatural when I was saved in 2004- I’ve never been ok with the church being done with the gifts (so bogus). But I think since I was really brought up into this that there is a special sort of desire or gifting of the supernatural that the Lord has given me. I really want more. If it’s true that He’s going to release it (and of course it’s true), then I want to be there when He does! I want to be ready for it!

My spirit is LONGING for His coming. I want to physically be on the earth when He comes on the clouds (Ben was saying part of him wants to experience the current Heaven before- which would take him dying on this side of eternity and then would come with Jesus when He returns) I guess both would be fine (wow that was probably the understatement of all time), but for real to see Him coming on the clouds- and standing next to people who physically die from FEAR. I was telling Ben that there can only be two reactions on that day. Either the most painful agony and fear ever experienced or the most joy and excitement ever experienced. For real! It will be the worst day or the best day. Wow to see it. He’s really coming back, but this time as judge. Oh Jesus to see you! He’s really alive!! I was thinking about that the other day as well- Jesus is REAL. He’s REALLY a man. That’s another topic for another day. In the mean time I’m going to search God out. One more thing… I really want God to show me outer space (is that nerdy? I don’t care that would be amazingly sweet). Supernovas, stars, galaxies, things we haven’t discovered yet- things we’ll NEVER discover!! Ooohh… fun. God take me there!!

A Little Update… May 14, 2008

So I know it’s been awhile since I’ve written… I really want to write more but it’s SO hard finding time with  Zuriah, wow! Also it doesn’t help that I don’t have a passion for writing- usually when I get a free moment I spend it in other ways. I’m going to try for once a week, we’ll see how it goes!!

So I’m starting this business (I know I’ve mentioned it before), but I’m getting really excited about it! I just finished making my first bag- a diaper bag for someone and it actually turned out! In fact I want one for myself now! I’ve been doing research to find different designs etc. and am working on getting some fabric samples. My focus is going to be diaper bags, baby bedding, slings, and nursing covers. Already I have few bedding orders. Ben wants me to focus on building up ‘inventory’ and have a trunk show in the Fall- which is a great idea. I just can’t help but tell everyone ‘yes!’ when they ask me to make something. I love it, the Lord is so good that He has given me this opportunity to do something I love while be at home with Z! If anyone has any suggestions for fabric I’d love to hear it- I’ve been looking at Joann’s, at a few specialty stores and online. I definitely want interesting, original fabric that people will really be attracted to.

Ben and I are going to be taking some type of mini vacation soon… we will at least go to Chicago but possibly Florida!! For Christmas this year Ben’s dad got us a stay in a hotel and Medieval Times in Chicago We want to go to Six Flags too… especially since I want to ride a roller coaster before I’m pregnant again… We’ll see what happens. I think we’re both ready for a little vacation and some quality family time.

So I have a lot to write about other things but I need to get my prayer time in before Z wakes up! Hope to write again soon.

Provoked… Again. April 23, 2008

I’ve been provoked again… this group I’m in (an E-12- an end-times Bible study), has continued to provoke me, it seems that every time I go I am thrust into further things of God. The last time I went we were only there for a few minutes because we came late, but again- provoked to more! I really think it’s the people that are there that are faithful in prayer and are close to Jesus that are doing this to me- they don’t even have to do anything, it has to be the Spirit in them so heavy that even their presence convicts me that I have to have more of God!

Last time reminded me of excitement that I used to have that I don’t have right now. The spirit of prayer broke out and people started to travail- usually when this happens it’s a pretty loud experience. One person with urgency said ‘We need to go somewhere or we’ll be here all night,’ everyone stood up to leave quickly- Ben and I and Zuriah didn’t end up going because of Zuriah, but they all went together to somewhere they could travail all night if necessary. Amazing. This is provoking to me!! I remember being in high school and the same type stuff would happen with unrighteousness- people would get really excited about something and would be about something all night if necessary to feed what was in their spirits. Where did this excitement go? I know I’m a mom and it’s probably unrealistic for me to travail all night (especially since Zuriah sleeps with us), but that doesn’t excuse why my spirit isn’t exhilerated at the thought of it. Very convicting. I need to have more of God.

An Update… April 22, 2008

It’s been awhile since my last post- sorry about that. I’m DONE WITH INTRO!! It’s been a crazy three months but we made it! I’m hoping to write more with this extra time… we’ll see how it goes! My schedule seems to be much better, I went from nearly 50 hours demanded a week to only about 24. I’m in the prayer room every Monday-Thursday from 8-12 and I’m focusing on my business in the afternoons. Ben and I actually have a day off (what’s that?) on Fridays- much needed!

My business is getting started… I’m setting up a web page: www.zuriahbaby.com God is amazing me with this, I remember mentioning the whole idea to Ben a few months ago and I felt crazy even saying it. I JUST started sewing- I’ve never in my life used a sewing machine before December but God has given me the knowledge and talent to do everything- amazing. And I love it. It’s perfect, I get to be home with Zuriah and sew! I am getting orders for things I don’t know how to make yet- it’s all God! I’ve decided on the name ZuriahBaby, I’ve had pretty good feedback- I’m hoping it will be easy enough to spell for everyone.

Zuriah has claimed my old teddy bear, his name is Tedska (I named him when I was little: he’s a teddy bear and I liked to skate) hehe… I think he sounds Russian. It’s pretty cute, she carries him and hugs him, she especially likes him when she sleeps, I’ll post some pictures when I get them uploaded. She has been saying ‘Jesus’ really clearly and ‘kitty’ is still a favorite. We started solids on Thursday and she LOVES it, she’s doing so well! It’s kind of bitter sweet for me because I know she’s going to start weaning but it’s ok, I’m hoping she’ll still nurse until at least July. We’re doing avacados, bananas, apples, pears and I’m going to start making my own baby food.

I have some revelation to share on healing and some other things but I’ll share that next time… time for the 10am intercession set!

I am so blessed! March 18, 2008

I just have to say how blessed I am to have such a wonderful husband- I love him so much! He is such a servant to me and our daughter, he loves us so much. This morning he told me that he is so attracted to me, but not just my features but who I am- he is attracted to my body soul and spirit! It’s really amazing when you find that your identity isn’t in how you look- you hear it all the time but when someone says something like that to you it really re-aligns you. It really got me thinking about how Jesus, our husband loves us! Even in our brokenness He loves us- just like Ben said he loves me- with Jesus it would be like saying He doesn’t just love me for what I do- for my strivings- He loves who I am! That is such an amazing reality.

We are beyond blessed (and what a small word to use) when we think about Jesus and how He’s redeemed us. We were going to Hell! He died so that we could have eternal life… but not just that- He really wants to have a relationship with us because He LIKES us- what is that?

I am personally blessed to have such a revelation of not only the Bridegroom King Jesus in my wonderful husband but also the reality of God as Father in mothering Zuriah- it’s as if He created these contexts in order for us to better understand Him, we are created in His image in more than one way, He really modeled creation after Him. I am finding so much of God in creation (the invisible attributes!) He’s really created all of this so that we can see Him in it and glorify Him. Isn’t it amazing that He made the universe just for us to marvel at- I mean it’s infinite, as if we’ll even see it all! Not even a portion and yet He created it for us to live in. All of it just for humans- amazing. There are so many prophetic pictures of Jesus in creation- and it was really all made for us to find Him in it.

The Lord’s Daughter March 15, 2008

I’m sitting in the prayer room right now with Zuriah sleeping on me, I am overwhelmed with how much I love her! Since we had her I’ve grown in love more than I ever knew existed, it’s truly inexpressible. How amazing that God has entrusted her to us! I really think that moms have a special anointing simply because of how much they love. The Lord has really shown me unconditional love through her- sometimes when she is crying (even screaming) – don’t get me wrong she is a very good baby but every baby cries sometimes – I look at her and my heart is so overflowing with love- even in those moments! I love everything about her! Her little noises, the faces she makes, how she moves around, how she looks at us- she’s so amazing!

I never understood before why parents got so worried about their children- now I understand. I’m going to totally trust the Lord with her but I can’t even imagine being away from her. I want to protect her! This I think is part of the fasted lifestyle of mothers- it’s a constant giving of yourself, but at the same time when you want to be in control God says ‘no, trust me.’ That is so hard! But that is what I need a better revelation of- especially if I am going to be a mother in the end times. God prepare my heart for this!

We need to give our children to the Lord- if this is going to be a generation of prophets, evangelists, firey apostles… martyrs, we have to trust Him with our children! There will be a day when we won’t be able to do anything when someone comes and divides up our family- it’s so important to get a revelation of this now in order to prepare. We need intimacy with Jesus- how else can we trust Him?

I meant for this post to be more about Zuriah than raising her in the end times but it seems like it always goes there! Something I’ve been torn between lately is the world and God concerning her- I’ve been trying to document everything- first tooth, first time she crawled, first steps, what she’s doing, what she looks like- but then I think, when the antichrist is in power I’m not going to be bringing my scrapbook to the concentration camp! Where do I draw the line? A few months ago I was thinking the only thing I am attached to worldly is pictures- I’d be really upset if I lost my pictures- but the Lord revealed to me that He is so much better than Kodak! I feel better about that, I just need to keep living in an eternal perspective.

Zuriah woke up- Right now she is playing with her friends Malachi (3 yrs) and Payton (5 yrs)- they play so well together, Malachi calls her ‘Ziah’ and Payton calls her ‘Zachariah’! Pretty cute… maybe they will all be ‘contemporaries’ preaching the Gospel together This next generation is so exciting! The time is so exciting, but yet terrifying! God prepare us. Give us grace to walk through what Joel calls the ‘great and terrible day of the Lord.’ What does it look like God? Help us to prepare our children, to prepare our hearts. We need intimacy with you Jesus. You are coming soon, we love you Jesus!

Provoked March 4, 2008

My heart has been so stirred the last few days for more of God! Why are we so content with what we have when we can have SO much more? This is the reality that I’ve been looking at- I don’t just want to be a good moral Christian, I want to be on FIRE for God! It’s not okay that we as believers look so similar to the world- why is this? The other night in one of my groups a good friend of ours was telling everyone of intense encounters he’s had with God- I’m talking throne room experiences. He said one of his friends has had Ezekiel-like encounters where she’s out for 7 days (doesn’t eat, sleep or even move), and needs to be carried around for 7 days after that because she can’t even stand after that type of encounter. This provokes me! I want this!

I’m not just wanting to be taken up in the Spirit and walk in signs and wonders, I really want ALL of what the Lord has for me! I feel like we are unconsciously limiting God to have all of us- I’ve been starting to pray ‘Holy Spirit come AS YOU ARE and do WHAT YOU WANT.’ So often we pray for God to come as healer or provider (which is good and right), but what if we pray for God to come as God- to do whatever He wants even if it seems weird? Why not open up the box we have God in? I have to have more! We were created to look at God. We are vessels for His Spirit to live in us. He has so much more for us and He WANTS us to have it! But we have to ask. We do not have because we do not ask!